Learning to Slow Down~ Because slowing down is sometimes the best way to speed up..

Learning to Slow Down~ Because slowing down is sometimes the best way to speed up..

           

In last few days I find everything that is happening is more of lesson, constantly I have been asking myself to slow down..

I am someone who loves being quick in what I do because there are deadlines to meet and

to meet them we need to be swift.

Which I’m sure all of us do love and would like to be one  if we are not quick..

Fair enough but not all the times ..These days I don’t know if it is really good to be quick at times.

Whatever has happened in last few days has made me think about it..

Slowing down is something I’ve been thinking about in last few months- You may find me silly saying this,

Yes, I made mistakes and the reason was providing quick solution as I was being more productive.

And the results left me saying “Oh , no”, “Crap”, “Shit”, “I should have confirmed once”, “Should have done this and that”

You know lot of regrets ….

There was nothing uncontrollable… trust me , I could have controlled or avoided mess.

Being quick and productive is always considered to be one of the best quality, as you are praised by your friends, colleagues and even you believe that you’re doing something well and continue to be the same.

I was once told “ Don’t provide immediate solutions , instead think from all different views ,analyse and provide a solution”

And I just nodded ..

Because it all went above my head and was too complicated to understand– because even here my thought was- why do I have to think about giving a solution when I know the answer and waste time,

See now you know how quick I wanted to be always, so it really took a while to understand what this guy meant ..

To be honest ,I gave up solving this sentence after a week or so ..

I happened  to  discuss this with Deepak about the feedback shared and his opinion was  -“Right, I agree you need to think and take action but the amount of time should not be too long or it will lose its essence”  makes sense…but then I felt he again made it too complicated  for me ,

So there should be some sort of balancing is what he meant.

I began experimenting with slowing down.

So - How can you be chilled out.. i mean to say calm and not busy and at the same time still effective ,dependable and productive?-   was something I had to work on..

·I always felt anxious when i rushed and then  as advised by every Parents  and maybe every odd person you know,

Drink water and stay calm, 

it truly reduces stress and anxiety or you know when you feel like you are rushing.



For the sake to stay out and think ,even if it is matter of minute it keeps you out of your work and gives you time for yourself..

·         We are sometimes so deeply involved in what we do that we do not pause ourselves and forget that someone really need our help and maybe waiting, (well ,I’m talking about our work environment)

Trust me , I have suffered many times when someone did not respond  upon waiting long and make you repeat things, it’s a pain I tell you ..

Pause yourself for a while and listen to the problem Instead of making someone repeat the same,

This will show how dependable you are and have some time for your colleague/employee and in turn will also save both of yours time.

·         Before providing a solution even if you know the answer, it is always better to challenge your thoughts-

                    Is this likely to happen?

                   Recall if this has happened before?

                  What’s the worst that can happen? Can we handle that?

(Well, I have put these questions here as I missed to check all these before I provided a solution to my peer.) So, you can add up questions depending upon the situation.

·         Always provide a space and an opportunity for people to present their ideas and to come up with their own solutions.

       When you rush to provide a solution to someone else's problem, it may be the wrong sometimes

                           
Your solution might be right, but if you jump in too soon with all the answers, you could miss out on something that could be far better.

·         Last but not the least, Make it your goal to work smarter  by finding strategies.

I tried this for few months and it worked smoothly…there were of course some extra efforts to remind myself often , pooja.. calm down ..think ..analyse was always there though..

However, before I could put this across my blogs i wanted one of the leaders to share their opinion about this or if rushing was good to stay productive.

One whom I haven’t closely worked with but know that he is smart and hard working at the same time.

So yes,One of the operations lead.. It was again easy to walk upto him and ask how he managed to stay calm and  productive ..

And he had to say this–

“Human should always keep the control with oneself, the moment you lose your patience you are giving your remote control to others.So we need to keep patience and relaxed so that we take the right decision at right time by ourself. Not by giving control to others.”-
So here patience is the key . ..isn’t it ?

So here it is all about losing opportunities if you aren’t patient enough..once the remote is controlled by someone else you lose the opportunity to grow.

Do you take time to answer even when you know the fix?- was my next question-

And his immediate response was-

“I never rush, I think and calculate atleast 3 steps ahead ..no knee jerk reaction”.

That’s how they manage to stay calm and speed up things they do by slowing down.

So basically, In everything we do we want to be quicker, more efficient and more productive, which is good but sometimes hazardous.

So stop rushing and slow down, worry less, make fewer mistakes and stay Focussed.

As someone said - "At the end of the day,you can't control the results;you can only control your effort level and your focus"

Be a Leader ,Not the Boss~Live to Lead

Be  A leader, Not the Boss

~Live to lead

“Yeah, they share and for that you need to be approachable “ – was his reply at the end of the series of questions I asked ..
so what does this bring to your mind when I talk from an employee perspective ..
This was very clear to me and I had no questions after this ..

I write articles to communicate ideas and values that have empowered and influenced me to find a path. I hope that readers find practical ideas and they can use in their work life.

I have closely worked with few people who I must say have taught many different ways to lead life ..

My Dad of course who has always been an example for his love and concern towards family apart from this I have also seen him giving more importance to work and people who work for him.

 I’ve seen him leading both work and personal life which I’m sure all of us do when it comes to responsibility , but this was something I have seen closely and that makes me write.

And then when it comes to hard work and commitment again Deepak has always been an influencer.

I think you’ll agree with me when I say:

Being a leader is one of most difficult AND rewarding positions.

Time management, people engagement, Empathy, sympathy,collaboration with the team are all the terms that we have heard of in sessions conducted for employees, students and maybe read in most of the articles but it isn’t really easy to deploy or say bring things in action when needed at times and I knew there was something more that I should understand.

Do you think good communication skills are necessary for a leader?

What do you think about risk-taking abilities?

Are they essential for a top-manager?

Were the questions that springed my mind  many times when working with couple of teams,

I Failed at times to portray the leadership skills(I’m talking about handling small teams ) when I found people with different attitude.

All this sounds easy when you know that the person is ready to listen , what if he is not someone who doesn’t want to understand.

I always wanted to know how Deepak managed to work with people carrying distinct attitude,

So my first question to him was –“How do you manage handling people who have been in the process for a long time and knows more than you..”

“If someone knows more than me then I shall appreciate his/her knowledge and assign tasks where they can excel .” he replied --- Fair enough isn’t it?

This single statement reflects below qualities and are more likely to be qualities of a leader.

Appreciative:

From what he said, this was the first quality that comes to my mind .When you really want to do something meaningful for others and make them smile ,having this quality can make it .

As I have always mentioned in my blogs showing Gratitude is one of the best quality I have learnt from few around.

And this is what Rhonda Byrne’s “Secret” is all about.

People around you will connect more when they feel genuinely valued and appreciated.

And that is why you should appreciate your parents, friends, colleagues and helpers and may be more and more.

Fair:

You can rarely think of this right ..?

When you really feel treated unfairly that’s when you think about it ..

So when it comes to work I think being Fair is being honest and Not partial.

This is again a very different topic to talk about ..however precisely it is to be open and genuine and say what you mean . Then people will know what to expect from you.

Responsive:

Does it really benefit us? Yes, in many ways ..

Being responsive makes you decide,exhibit and conduct which will improve others and yourself .

 I have seen people approaching Deepak for each and every matter, so he is highly effective and accessible.


You are considered to be responsive if you are effective and approachable to everyone.

Hence you shouldn’t isolate yourself from the team.  If you are one such responsible,Your teammates will depend on you for them to respond promptly.

Honesty & Transparency:

When I have made mistakes, I wasn’t criticized for being wrong but quality feedback was shared.

At the same time I was encouraged and appreciated for the good work.

Many leaders hesitate to be transparent because they worry they’ll be viewed less as a leader.

But that isn’t true..Effective communication and quality feedback creates more positive effect

Be it treating employees Fairly, setting clear expectations and at the same time taking the responsibility of the end results are all nothing but factors of being honest and transparent.

In short, my understanding is that as an employer he Created clarity of his employees purpose, Enabled the mindset (determination, will), the skillset (technical or soft skills) and unlocked the potential so that we deliver excellence within our role .

This builds self confidence and ignites self motivation.

I did have series of questions about different people however ended up with informative conversation.

So at the end of our conversation answering to one of them ,he said (reminding you of the first lines) “Yeah, they share and for that you need to be approachable “…

If you gotta be a leader , 

• you will need to listen,when I say listen I mean spend extra time  and  pay attention ,
• show them that you care ,
• Make time to talk to everyone and make your people feel comfortable

Not just being a leader but even when it comes to an employee who just started working ,having these qualities of showing leadership and ownership should help you grow quickly and collaborate with the other employees.

Pretty sure now that this should be the reason for having young leaders ..

So yea .. try to be someone you expect others to be , let others experience good leader in you!!

The Tail Story ~He lives Pawsitively

Tail Story

He lives Pawsitively

It was Christmas month when I first met Navya’s Pet and decided to adopt a dog.

That was the first ever decision that I made till then.

So yea ,I wasn’t really a pet lover since childhood but yes my mom loved having love birds, so yes care and affection towards them was definitely something I have learnt since childhood.

However, having a pet dog was not something I really wanted to do always as I was always afraid of dogs.

But something unexpectedly happens ,So I had a thought of adopting a pet when I saw one at my friend’s place , Such a cute one it was and I remember spending time with it for about 2 hours  and time spent was like a blink of eye and did not wanted to go back home.

Now I wanted one such cute one to spend time with because that was something made me happy.

I laughed,

I played like never before..

There were challenges before I would get him as my Dad wasn’t a pet lover,

So i normally sleep early before my dad is home but I stayed awake this time when I decided to adopt one.

My dad wondering looking at me –“Did you take leave tomorrow  ?”

I immediately smiling at him said-“naah papa , not at all but I was waiting for you “and immediately” papa can we please adopt a puppy?”

And there was no response instead he was blank and looked at me thinking if I was crazy or trying to play around with him .

Me: –“Please papa , I want one ..you can’t  say No, please “

(walking along with him and this please continued till he freshened up.)

He finally spoke up –“Who will take care of him?  They really need someone always all the time with them, not an easy task you know …“

And I without letting him complete interrupted asking him not to worry about it.

Papa couldn’t say no to me because he understood that this was something that made me happy and hence asked him, I don’t normally ask him for anything.

Now it was my turn to hunt for a pet, Poms look more cute and I always wanted pet who looked cute and where I can carry him everywhere I go.

It took 3 days for me to find one.

And I found the cutest of all ..

Jan 9^th 2015 was the day,So pet kennel guy calls me saying that there is small Pom left in his kennel if I wanted to pick it up.

I was really excited and immediately left home.

Bit anxious looking at two German shepherds standing out and at the same time excited to meet the lil one.

The owner took me to the hall and asked me if i will be able to take care of the lil pup,

Then I see one of them holding a small carton and walking towards me,

I wondered if that was for me ..

Yes of course that was for me, I held this box and looked into it .

I could only see this lil angel popping out his nose, his twinkling eyes, shiny nose and his small wagging tail said everything.

Small world in my hands, someone born from heart..

He looked like a snow ball to me and I said -he looks Golu molu –“ (which means round one in Hindi)

He truly was cute lil Furry Angel. Priceless moment ..

I realized there were people around me who constantly looked at us and with a happy smile and one of them said –“he looks so small “ and the owner replied  “ yes , he is just 15 days old now .”

I held him in my hands and was being so cautious and responsible at this moment. I have always been a very careless person till I took him in my hands,

His wet nose on my palm, he tried to lick my palm , first bite was the sweetest of all.

Now I took this lil one home and everyone at home lifted him, they loved him but except one person -My Father as he wasn’t really an animal lover.

Days passed by and after a week or so.. I see lot of changes.

Everyone at one place playing with him and drastic change was seeing my dad happy after a long time.

He laughed, he loved and took care of him selflessly., all of us did in fact.

The way he jumped around ,made us laugh , his cuddles were something i really needed and it was all fulfilled now.

He came into my life when I really needed him, my family members who could see each other only on weekends because of our distinct shift timings we had different schedules from breakfast to dinner, now it isn’t the same instead we all sit in one place busy pampering and playing with him.

Happiness is When I see his tail wagging and his feet on my palm with his shining eyes asking me to hug him tight and lift him in my arms before I dump my bag off every day when I am back home.

It’s a kind of refreshment when I know this lil one is awaiting for me,

 he is my best friend now who is more loyal, loves selflessly and more kind.

I did not adopt him but he adopted me, he taught me to love selflessly.


I had noticed that Golu was not as normal as other dogs but he was kind of aggressive and was always scared of loud noise and sudden movements.

He did not want anyone other than my family members and did not allow outsiders, we consulted him to doctors and many caretakers but none worked.

 I am a social person and friends often coming home was usual.

We girls planned for birthday parties, sleep overs and all this was really something difficult now to manage,

We were advised to put him on medication, I never wanted to put him on medication at this early stage hence stopped calling friends home instead I would meet them outside or maybe invited very few.

I really enjoyed being with him and spending time a lot and this relieved lot of stress and I am a more friendly by nature now.

____________________________________________

Everything went well so far ..

One day I see him struggling to get out of his bed and his feet holding the bedsheets tight (it almost tore) , his eyes popping out and his teeth held so firm, Paddling at the end of the bed and making growling noise .

I couldn’t think of anything other than calling my father, while he rushed and lifted in his arms I was quiet blank and found myself helpless, we had never seen him like this before.

I took out all the stuff around him that could hurt him as he was not conscious and did not know what was happening.

I tried talking to him, petting and assuring him that he will be fine, this happened for about 5 minutes and he was fine after this. He ran here and there and came back to me resting his paws on my lap asking me to lift him.

All of us were astonished looking at the sudden change. My dad without wasting much of his time called up Vet and he was all good till the Doctor arrived.

I realized Golu was not as normal as other dogs, He was affected with Epilepsy ..like it happens for Humans ,

But it would last for not more than 5 mins for him to get back to normal stage, once normal he goes to everyone like he just saw us coming back home and happily jumps around like everything was absolutely normal.

He showed the same love and affection towards everyone,

And it makes me forget every single problem that i come across,

I have learnt many things from my furry angel, believe it or not dogs are one of the best teachers for reaching out moment of happiness.

·         Forget and let go things.

What amazes me is the instant love I receive from him even after I yell at him at times when he barks.

Then with his innocence and his small feet on my palm in his puppy voice saying “that’s ok forget it, can we play now”.

We  forget to move on accepting someone’s apology and spoil our own day.
So let go things and forget what happened ..

·         Live it.

When I give him a Bone chocolate stick or a toy he keeps playing and chewing it for hours, he lives the moment without worrying about tomorrow or next moment and isn’t upset for being punished.

He hops, jumps and eats without worrying about his weight or physique or is less worried and just enjoys his meals .

If he wants to come to me, he does and start licking my face overall without worrying that I must be busy or will shout at him ,

If you want to do something good that can make someone’s day just do it, don’t worry about the result.

Be less bothered, stop worrying about lil mistakes that you did.

Learn from your mistakes.

·         Surround yourself with happy people.

I have seen him sitting in the corners when being scolded , but then I feel he is too dramatic at times because the very next moment if he finds someone carrying stuff /toys or if he sees my siblings walking around , he immediately happily runs toward them snatching the stuff or showing the joy that he is happy for having them back home .

So he doesn’t surround himself with negativity and always look for something positive that brings him joy and a smile on someone’s face .

That is how we can be and not surround ourselves with negativity.

Like how he eats his meals if he finds it in a bowl or drinks when he is really thirsty he does ask and doesn’t wait for someone to ask him to have it .

This way we can grab our opportunities without waiting for someone.

These few things have worked for me when it comes to facing every demanding or challenging situations in work and personal life.

When you are happy just jump around, express yourself and shout out. Why be shy and not enjoy the moment.

So if you want to learn without saying and without expecting anything from anyone , learn from these loyal ones.

Learn that if You will fall many times in life , it's OK to fall but when you get up just make sure you get up with smile on your face.
Fall again and rise again ..

Learn how not to hold grudges from them.

Learn how to find happiness in every small things ,like they see happiness when walking with you on street with belt tied .

Stop thinking about what’s next, live this moment and spread unconditional love.

Self Doubt into Self confidence ~It is not what you are that holds you back, It's what you think you are not.

Self Doubt into Self confidence ~

“Thank you so much Akka(sis) “- she said with a broad smile,her face lit up saying that this is what she was awaiting for .

I got down the cab and when walking towards home I see this girl struggling to take out her cycle which was stuck on the round top cover of the drainage on the roadside when racing with other kids . When I happened to cross her I lifted the back seat and pushed her small cycle so that it moves further and then without looking at her just started walking ( I mean anyone could have done the same if not me at that point of time  ..)  and I hear her saying this loudly and made me look back ..I of course smiled..she only needed a push.

A small push towards good …

This reminds me of one incident which changed my nature of self doubt.

At times it happens that one small failure make us think so much and we start self doubting.

You question your abilities  and you feel like you aren’t good enough or smart to do anything and that’s when you stop trying.

I am not sure about others but this has definitely happened to me ,So there were few challenges I came across few months ago ..

At one stage I had a question –“will I be able to do this ?”

And this voice –“you can’t , you’re going to fail” ufffffffff.kept taunting at me .

Now this turned out to be true and here’s where I lost myself.

This is when I started doubting about myself and started blaming myself for not getting through …though it was something out of my control at that point of time.

Deepak has one good quality of appreciating others and knows how to correct others in a polite way.

I remember it should be during my one-one conversation he just painted a different image of mine and as soon as I imagine of this image ,
my self doubt disappeared like a flip .

He knew that I wasn’t able to meet my numbers but at the same time appreciated my efforts and I don’t know if he really knew that I wasn’t happy with my work or myself .

Eventually,there were more of good  things he happened to say along with that he told me that people would love to work the way you do , now this was something which I never thought of but made me realise that I was self doubting all this while and this was why failed few attempts.

This push was much needed to make things happen I realise ..

So yes ,I don’t compromise with self doubts anymore but try to build self esteem.

How we think whether it is positive or negative impacts our personality and reflects everything that we come across in life. Therefore, happiness and balance are two things that will allow us to live our lives.

Make list of your strengths and achievements:

You don’t have to be super hero, but everyone has their own natural skills and talents for which they are appreciated at least once.

This will make you feel much better trust me. if you feel good about yourself, you are happy and you tend make others happy and are of more confident person.

You will find more different ways to find a resolution instead of giving up, I personally follow this and is one of the reason for not giving up.

Reduce your stress levels.

• ·        Discussing with someone about how you feel can be helpful. This will distract you from your stressful thoughts or release tension.
  
• ·         Ensure that you’re getting enough sleep.
• ·         Learn to find solutions to your problems and this will help you feel more in control thereby reduces your stress level.
• ·         Start time management -At times, we all feel overburdened by the lists of tasks given and this is a common cause of stress. You cannot do everything at once, so start to prioritise of what needs to be done first and like I have seen few people working closely with .. they maintain diary.

Do more of the things that you enjoy-

Start Celebrating the small stuff,You will enjoy this. Every small stuff that brings me happiness and I don’t miss celebrating. 

Get over laziness and do what makes you happy, be it listening to music, play football or write something.

I would rather suggest you indulge in physical activities for at least 30 minutes in a day.

Handle failures in a more positive way:

Now this is something I recently learnt, So mistakes happen you cannot change what has happened. But definitely avoid to repeat this.

I have a small story here to say … so yes i couldn’t clear one of the recent interviews because i was not confident enough to clear it or was less interested /confused if I should be really joining here and hence did not prepare myself.

Now I had this negative vibe that I’ll not be able to clear it and this turned out to be true, so now I found difficult to accept the fact that I did not clear.

However, I somewhere knew that I wasn’t prepared,so accepted this fact and did  Focus on what I could change and this worked like a charm, hence the outcome was good for my next interview.

Stop falling into the comparison:

Even if it comes to your personal life, stop comparing yourself with others.

Not just yourself but do not compare two others who work in their own different ways. It’s all about their own abilities .

This is again something which my father made me understand by demonstrating real life scenarios. And then again Deepak had to say the same thing when it comes to comparison.

You can’t expect two different people to be the same or work like the same way you expect them to.

Do the right thing:

When you do what you think is right then you build your self-esteem.

Stop worrying or feeling sorry for yourself and Do what is right ..When you know what you do is not right and are asked to do, then don’t do it .

Talk to someone who can help you this and discuss for other possible ways.

Surround yourself with a supportive squad:

I’m glad to have people around who has always been supportive and with their guidance I could do the right things and could try all that I have suggested here in this blog that has also in turn helped me to build self-confidence.

Of course you will meet people who will make you doubt your abilities or never agrees with you ideas.

So do you take it to heart? Nope, not a good idea.

Instead Find right people and surround yourself with someone who lifts you up to become successful.

They show you new heights and make you believe you can reach them.

People like my sis,Dad ,Deepak ,Pooja ,Biju and few others have always influenced me with one or the other way . Of course Deepak and Biju gave me opportunities but with others I shared stuff and they definitely tried making things easy for me.

Be nice to people- Be a pal:

Last but not the least .

Be nice to people, like I said earlier that Deepak just painted a different image of mine and that changed the whole idea about myself in a flip.

How about if you make someone love themselves by appreciating them and showing them their strengths😊