Balance or Choice??

 

Balance or Choice??

It’s winter, and I’m finally enjoying a long break after work with the Christmas holiday here. This is more of a Me time—just me and my time to recharge.

 

As I write this post, sipping the healthy White Tea, I reflect on the past few years. Looking through my Google Photos, I see a story--- 2021-2022 was about making choices, 2023 was a year of lessons, and 2024 has been a year of transformation and renewal. It’s a perfect moment to pause, appreciate how far I’ve come, and feel excited for what’s ahead.

I’d like to share something I learnt this year about making choices.  It all started with the idea of balancing…

 

Balance….balancing…is this really called balancing.. how do you do it?- I always wondered..

Ever heard of the frequency of illusion?

It happens when you start noticing something more often after learning about it, or when something’s been on your mind for a long.

 

The term “Work-Life-Balance” has become more popular, since the pandemic hit. This has become more than just a buzzword- and I have been thinking if it is truly about balancing....!!

 This concept has allowed us to manage time effectively between professional and personal life, and with this self-care has also become more prominent. In fact, work-life balance has been an answer to many challenges – especially for those who want to be financially independent while still nurturing their families.

Is balance the right word to describe ?… Is it truly about balance?

I kept hearing about it and seeing references to it, yet I couldn’t find out what it meant to me.

 It wasn’t until I attended a leadership connect.

 

A Moment of Clarity

The typical quiet space now buzzed with new voices and perspectives.

The space is vibrant, and the shelves are adorned with awards and trophies, showcasing the organization's achievements.

 

There is a large table at the center. This room is usually blocked for staff meetings; however, for now, it is set up for different occasion. 

The employees gathered around the table, their faces filled with curiosity, excitement, and respect.  

The atmosphere is filled with eagerness, There is a conversation on the diversity and growth opportunities.Each individual brings their unique perspective to the table. The leader seated comfortably, with genuine interest, listened intently, nodding and engaging thoughtfully.

 

As the conversation unfolded, a question about work-life balance came up, for which the leader gave a very unusual, thought-provoking answer. This introduced a fresh perspective that I had never considered before, pulling my focus toward something that resonated with what I had been looking for.

 

So he said– “ It’s never a balance…, it’s always a choice and this statement was made by one of the Women leaders I met....”

 

The room fell silent. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. 

Suddenly, I realized how wrong I had been in thinking about balance., my thoughts racing, I started reflecting on my own choices and how I had been framing them as sacrifices.

 

 I thought that working late or skipping personal events was a sacrifice for the sake of balance. But the truth was, it was always a choice. I wasn’t striving for balance; I was simply making decisions based on what mattered to me at the time.

 

As I pondered this idea further, I found this video on Youtube- TED talk by Sheena Iyengar on the Art of Making Choices.

 

I recommend you watch her TED talk, she brilliantly outlines the art of making choices. The key point I found here is that we cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can always choose how we react to it.

 This shift in perspective helped me realize something important...Life isn’t about balance; it’s about the choices we make.

 The more clearly we understand our passion, our values, and where we want to be, the more empowered we are to make the right choices.

In this blog, I want to share some key takeaways about making choices and finding a sense of balance.

These ideas come from various topics from a few of the books that I’ve read and have helped me shape my thinking.  Two of them are listed below-

 The Subtle Art of Not Giving AF- by Mark Manson

The Art of Thinking Clearly- by Rolf Dobelli

Narrowing down the concepts, I can outline these key points clearly.

 

 1. Self-awareness - Remember “You” are always Choosing - When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When you feel that your problems are being forced upon you against your will, you will feel victimized and miserable. So Knowing yourself plays an important role, all you need to be aware of is -This is when I feel happy, this makes me feel sad, this gives me hope, etc.

This will help you choose what really matters to you.

2. Navigating Decisions-

The first thing that comes to my mind when talking about decisions is, keeping the options minimal. In one of the articles that I’ve read – The Paradox of Choice – the author talks about Decision fatigue, if there are too many things that you have, you end up choosing nothing. 

So, keep your options lesser, it is effective and less time-consuming. Decide what’s important, Clarify, prioritize, and then plan ahead.

 

3. The Responsibility- Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving AF, describes owning the responsibilities after making your choices.

 

He says nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. You always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, and how you value things.

4. Trust your Gut- 

I wouldn’t have included this if I had not seen the Instagram post about Late. Sir Ratan Tata, an Indian Industrialist… who once said - "I don't believe in making the right decisions, I take decisions and then make them right." 

These lines have touched many of us...If you have taken up something, then focus on making it right instead of regrets.

Conclusion-

 At the end of the day, it's the choices you make that shape your balance. When you approach decisions with more clarity and intent, finding balance becomes natural. So, Trust in your choices, and you will discover the balance you seek.